ext_127: (Default)
posted by [identity profile] ariadne83.livejournal.com at 11:26am on 30/11/2011
He did, he had everything you would think a person could want in life. Everything. So if that's true, how much uncontrolled despair must have overwhelmed his mind that night for him to decide the world would be better off without him?

THIS. SO MUCH THIS.

I was depressed for three years to the point where I would turn on my laptop in the morning and then go into a fugue for ten hours and not be able to tell my husband what I'd done all day except... read... stuff.

And the absolute worst part was that I had everything: a loving family, steady work, a supportive partner, lots of friends. There was no "reason" for me to feel down, or numb, or hopeless. And that led me into a downward spiral where I felt bad --> I felt bad for feeling bad --> I berated myself for being irrational and ungrateful --> I got sicker and sicker.

I've been so, so fortunate to have my husband, simply because on the worst nights when I quite seriously debated with myself whether or not the world would be better of without me, I could tell him. And he wouldn't freak out. He'd sit with me and talk to me and do whatever I asked that I thought might help. And I've been especially fortunate that he's fought for my right to recover at my own pace.

I can only ever feel sorrow and empathy when someone takes their life, because there have been many, many times in my life when that could have been me.

Reply

From:
Anonymous( )Anonymous This account has disabled anonymous posting.
OpenID( )OpenID You can comment on this post while signed in with an account from many other sites, once you have confirmed your email address. Sign in using OpenID.
User (will be screened if not on Access List)
Account name:
Password:
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
Subject:
HTML doesn't work in the subject.

Message:

 
Notice: This account is set to log the IP addresses of everyone who comments.
Links will be displayed as unclickable URLs to help prevent spam.

January

SunMonTueWedThuFriSat
1
 
2
 
3
 
4
 
5
 
6
 
7
 
8
 
9
 
10
 
11
 
12
 
13
 
14
 
15
 
16
 
17
 
18
 
19
 
20
 
21
 
22
 
23 24
 
25
 
26
 
27
 
28
 
29
 
30
 
31